So here we are… I spent the first four and a half months of this wild ride ensuring that I didn’t feed my sweet babe to sleep as per the very specific instructions by just about every midwife I’d come in contact with.
For the most part it wasn’t too hard but I do distinctly remember several occasions where when it was suggested that I should feed him to sleep because the situation was growing to be bigger than Ben Hur and I said “no I can’t do that, he won’t learn to self settle (not soothe, settle).
Then he got too strong to be swaddled so we were forced to move to the “wing suits” (we used Love To Dream). This went ok and we adjusted quickly and were still successful. Suddenly one day soon after Isaac Peter Nicholas Field rolled. in. bed. Not just any roll, an in his “wing suit” roll and had to be released as a free range Bam with arms out in his cot for safety reasons. Slowly since that day at roughly four and a half months of age things deteriorated to the point where I was spending more time putting my boy to sleep than he was actually sleeping. A week or so out from Christmas I decided that if we were going to actually make it to Christmas I would need to just give in and feed the poor kid to sleep. I vowed that once we got through Christmas and our trip up the coast visiting friends I would sort it out with a week or two at home before Mylo returned to work. #sleepdeprivationisreal
So there you have it, without any intention to end up here, here we are and it’s both all things wonderful, natural and nurturing as well as incredibly guilt inducing based on what I’d learnt.
Upon our return from our Januray holiday Bambi got a little cold, in fact it took us all out, he also got his first two teeth, then we had to get his tongue tie cut and now the next two teeth are coming in hot. Two weeks have passed…
There just seems to always be something that is preventing us from getting on the “sleep training” wagon and if you tried to tell me that I just need to bite the bullet and do it you can go and bite yourself because when my darling boy is uncomfortable and distressed you can bet your bottom dollar I’m gonna offer him the most comforting thing in his world “my bosom”.
I’ve chatted to other mums about it desperate for a secret answer, I’ve googled everything I can think of, I’ve even discussed it with my little one in hopes he will understand the arrangement and follow along. Nothing is appearing as a guiding light except for one piece of advice given to me by a long time friend who I don’t speak to often but whom seems to have a handle on this whole motherhood thing. Her exact words were “Oh honey I feel for you… both my boys needed me to feed to sleep and were terrible with sleep really so I don’t have any tips! The only thing that really helped me after trying EVERYTHING was to just surrender to your baby’s needs…” and just like that it’s like everything went quiet, the fog disappeared, a tremendous weight was lifted off my shoulders and suddenly I began enjoying my son and the wonderful gift that is feeding him again.