Well isn’t this an absolute treat for us all. If you’ve already seen my Instagram account you would have had you’re eyes treated to the most wonderful sight of me in my undies. Standout I know and clearly a pathetic grab at more followers (jokes… I think I have lost followers since posting it and followers weren’t actually at the forefront of my thought process. In actual fact I don’t even have enough followers to warrant any thoughts if they were to come into my mind and in reality probably only my mum saw the post).
That aside, I posted my #9monthsin9monthsout pic. Traditionally this is an opportunity for two types of women. Ones who have an incredible genetic predisposition to look good no matter what their bodies go through or how they treat them and the ones who have a little thing I like to call “discipline and self control”. They get their butts into active wear for more than a coffee and when they do have coffee they stop at the coffee and don’t accompany it with a sweet treat or a cheese and bacon roll. These women are incredible and I encourage them to always share these pics of themselves because if I looked that good I’d probably be posting bikini pics of myself twice daily. I do however have a sneaking decision that we are only seeing the “1%” out there on socials.
I get it!!! It wasn’t the most pleasant feeling pressing “share” and made me quite nervous. Oddly enough, the nerves didn’t come from the men in my life that might see it, I felt more nerves about the women who might see it and what they’d think. You see as women i think we really battle to build each other up (there I said it), especially in the realm of motherhood and not because we are nasty little pieces of work but rather our own insecurities about how well we are doing at this mum gig creep in and we feel better when we hear other people are struggling and we get busy trying to prove we’re “killing it” or at least have it perceived that we are keeping it all together.
I firmly believe that just because you find motherhood difficult at times does not mean you don’t enjoy being a mother. Desperately wanting your baby to take a nap so you can have some down time does not equate to being ungrateful that you have a child. Contemplating the idea of giving your baby Phenergan or a nip of brandy in their bottle so you can get a full nights sleep does not reflect your inability to appreciate the beautiful moments in the still and dark of the nights where your little one calls upon you for comfort.
Anyways all of that to say, that I’m not one of these women and I am, despite the nerves, ok with that. It’s quite the cliche to say I’m so proud of my body and what it’s done for my baby and blah blah blah as it goes; i really am. More importantly though I am so amazed at the fact that becoming a mum has been without a doubt the most selfless thing I’ve ever done and my body is actually purpose built to help me do that. The hormones that are released to help you get through birth, cope with the sleepless nights, be patient with your baby, love your partner, make milk and all the rest are astounding. I feel a little bit sorry for the boys because I’m over here like a super hero with these special powers and there’s Mylo with a double espresso trying to get the same effect.
I have given every single ounce of myself, every ounce of my being to raising this boy as big and strong as I can and we are nearly through the first year. I could almost say we are nearly out of the trenches (or is something coming I’m unaware of, if so can someone be so kind and please give me a heads up). I may not have my body back but I have without a doubt dedicated 100% of this time to enjoying my wee babe, growing him, loving him, nurturing him, feeding him and teaching him. In the same way with our family I have been enjoying our new dynamic, helping ease the changes as we grow, loving my husband (who suddenly gets a lot less attention), nurturing our little tribe, feeding Mylo as he goes to work each day on very little sleep and with a lot less patience but still striving to do the best job he can and learning alongside him how to be a nice human when you feel a little bit like you might be dying on the inside.
I can sense the change in the air and it’s both welcomed and resented in the same breathe because it means I might not have a reason to wear stretch pants all the time; jokes… but seriously… I know we won’t ever be able to live this time again and yet I need this time to draw to a close for my own sanity. Bam loves being with other people and our little community are more than competent to care for him. Mylo is really stepping into his own as a dad being able to do more and more now that Isaac does things other than just feed and sleep. We are now staring down the barrel at work, more babies, daycare and date nights; it’s all uncharted territory.
So this is my body after the most selfless year of my life and there will be more seasons like it I’m sure but for now we are onto the business of being an example to our child of what health, fitness and self care look like. As we embark on this journey I invite you to share with me yours and hopefully find encouragement in mine because let me tell you there is no more an arresting conviction like knowing that your child watches every single thing you do to make you put down the spoon and tub of Ben & Jerry’s at 9am.
Here’s to us ladies (and dad’s) for producing our greatest work of art, our greatest gift to this world and to regaining a sense of self in the process.
***NB: I in no way endorse giving babies any form of drugs or alcohol for any reason. Should this be an idea that keeps popping into your head please give me a shout out and I will come on over and have a cup of tea with you to talk it out. We can make a plan or I can even take care of bub for a few hours so you can get some rest, get your hair done or whatever else it might be that fills your cup right on up.